Drunken Accidents - A Dramione Fic
by Ragnfridr
Summary: The day after breaking off her engagement with Ron Weasley, Hermione wakes up completely hungover with no memories of the night before. Later that day she is visited my none other than Draco Malfoy, who carries a surprise for her. They've both made a mistake, and the repercussions are what they will have to deal.(Dramione, post-war&post-hogwarts)


*disclaimer* none of the characters, locations or any other things HP are mine, but belong to JK Rowling.

Why hello! so I got this new idea for another Dramione fic, and decided to let you guys read a sneak peek. Enjoy!

* * *

Sunlight peaked through the drapes that were half drawn over the windows of Draco's bedroom. The room was a complete mess - the majority of the bed covers and pillows were on the floor, along with dirty clothes and many other things.

Draco himself lay on the bed, very much awake and very much confused. He still had his eyes closed, already feeling the headache pounding a steady beat at his skull.

He was confused, as one might say, by what lay on his chest. It was approximately the size of a puppy, and wrapped in a towel. His left hand cradled whatever was in the bundle.

It was only when it moved that he scrambled fully awake, sitting up and looking at what was in his hands.

"A baby!?" He gasped.

Sure enough, it was a human child. Or so he assumed. It had wisps brown hair, and, god bless, was still asleep.

"Where-" Draco began, looking around the room. "Who-"

He didn't have the slightest idea of who the child may be, let alone who's. His only hope was that he hadn't stolen the child.

Only when he passed by a mirror did he realise that he was only wearing his boxers. The clothes he'd worn the night before were on the floor, and he noticed lipstick on the collar of his shirt.

Evidently he'd been with a lady, though he himself could not remember who it may have been. Or whether she'd had a child with her.

"Shit."

He hurriedly dressed, still holding the child, not properly knowing what he was to do. The night before was a blur, but he knew for sure that one friend would remember. He walked over to the fireplace, stepped in and threw the powder.

"Home of Blaise Zabini!"

* * *

Blaise was, unsurprisingly, not hungover like Draco was.

"I see you've come to ask me-" He paused upon noticing the baby, still fast asleep. "And who've you got there?" He cooed.

"That's what I'm here to ask you about." Draco growled.

"Oohh, how cute he is!" Pansy shrieked, running over and plucking the baby from Draco's arms. "What's his name?"

"I don't know."

"Is he yours?"

"I sincerely hope it isn't."

Blaise smiled at his wife. "Why don't you take the baby somewhere? Take care of him? We need to talk, Draco and I."

"Of course, honey." And with that, she left the room, cooing at the child as she went.

"Phew. Finally free from that." Draco sighed, slumping down into an armchair. "What happened last night?"

"You got totally wasted."

"Yes, of course I did, why else would my head be pouring?" Draco sighed, rubbing at his temples. "But where did that child come from and who did I go home with?"

Blaise looked apologetic as he offered Draco a glass of hangover-curing potion. "I'm not too sure. You left us at some point, you see. Muttering something about finding her, whoever that her may be."

"Her?"

"I know just as much as you do."

"But the baby!? Where-" Draco stopped himself, having to think a bit more before continuing. "How-"

Blaise chuckled, despite the nasty glares Draco was throwing him. "You might've used the conception spell."

"Conception?"

"Delivery."

"What?"

"A spell that, if cast after intercourse, will result in a child."

"What!?"

"Did your parents ever talk to you about the birds and the-"

"Shut up, of course I know!" Draco snapped. "How does a spell like that even exist?"

"To help couples struggling with conception?"

"But- was I really **that** drunk?"

"You might've."

Draco fell silent, staring at his hands in shock. "I need to find this girl. Maybe she knows something."

"I'm quite sure half the female population will claim it was them, to get their hands on you and the Malfoy fortune." Blaise pointed out. "You must be subtle."

"Bloody hell."

Just then, Pansy waltzed into the room. "He's got your eyes, Draco. And such a charming smile!" She tickled the baby, who giggled. "I dressed him in some of Harvey's old clothes, and packed some for you too. Oh, and I also fed him. He was hungry."

"It's a he?" Draco gasped. "And what do you mean by packed? I'm not taking that."

"He's got _your_ eyes, Draco. Of course you're taking him." Pansy rolled her eyes.

"And how do you propose I'm fit to care for a child?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll manage." Her eyes lit up. "We can go baby shopping! Oh, this'll be so great."

"No thanks."

"He needs a crib, and diapers, and warm clothes-"

"Pansy! I am not keeping this child!" Draco snapped.

That shut her up. Even the baby, still in her arms, looked shocked. "Then what are you going to do with him?"

"I'm going to find the mother and, if she wants it, I'll hand it to her. If not, I'll just leave him at an orphanage."

"You can't do that!"

"Pretty sure I can."

"But he's so cute!"

"Enough! We'll lend you some baby things until you find the mother. And no more talk about orphanages, I'll rather take him than see him sent away." Blaise cut them off. "Now go home and try to figure out who you might've fucked last night, alright?"

Draco scowled at him, but took the child from Pansy and apparated nevertheless.

* * *

At home, he sat down and looked at the baby. Pansy had dressed him in a white onesie with pale blue stripes. His large grey eyes were undoubtedly from Draco.

The wisps of brown hair, however, had him thinking.

He stared at the baby for quite some time, contemplating the odds before finally standing up and cursing.

"Bloody hell."

He grabbed his wand and was off again, fearing the worst as he apparated.

* * *

Hermione Granger was completely and utterly hungover. The engagement ring that had only a day ago been in it's place was long gone, hopefully having caused a bruise onto the man's cheek she had most cherished.

She had been so sure the papers would be covered with news of her and Ron's breaking up, but was surprised to find they didn't.

She could not remember a thing from last night, not after she'd stormed out of the flat she had been about to move into and headed downtown for a drink or two.

Or maybe a dozen.

Her head was pounding, and she was out of remedy for a hangover. She knew she had done something last night she'd regret, but couldn't recall a thing. And that, of course, frustrated her.

She did recall getting into the hotel and booking a room, but none of the events before that seemed clear.

There was a knock on the door, and Hermione suddenly realised that she was barely wearing anything.

"Just a minute!" She yelled, whilst quickly stripping and putting on a pair of leggins and a large woollen sweater. As she hurried to the door, she tied her hair up into a messy bun and cast a spell to make her face look like she hadn't been up all of last night.

She had expected to find Harry, Ginny or any one of her friends outside the door to her room. Or perhaps Ron.

However, she was completely startled when she opened the door to reveal Draco Malfoy. With a baby in his arms.

"Granger." He drawled.

"Malfoy?" She gasped, looking him up and down. "What are you doing here?"

"May I come in?"

"Not until you tell me what you're doing here."

"Listen, Granger, this is a matter I'd rather discuss out of hearing range."

"How'd you find me?"

"Not very hard, considering you booked in with your own name."

Out of all the people she knew, Draco Malfoy was the last she expected to let inside her hotel room. But, somehow, she found herself muttering a "come in then" and stepping inside.

He showed quite good manners, not taking a seat before she had and so forth. There were so many questions she had for him, mainly about the child he was holding. She hadn't known he had a son.

"What did you do last night?"

Hermione looked at him slowly, a dreadful feeling emerging from her gut. "I went out."

"Drinking?"

"Yes."

"With friends?"

"What does it to you?"

"What do you remember of last nights' events?"

"Hardly anything."

"Is this thing yours?"

Hermione laughed at that. "You'd think I'd remember having a child, now wouldn't you?"

"Not if it was a conception charm."

Hermione looked at the child, then at Malfoy, then back at the child. "No, it can't be- we didn't-"

"Were you wearing a blue cocktail dress last night? Strapless?"

"Ye-es..."

"It's on my bedroom floor."

"What are you playing at, Malfoy?" She then snapped, glaring at him. "You storm into my room, suggesting that we shagged and then were stupid enough to conceive a child through a charm? Why would you even joke about that?"

"I'm not joking!" Malfoy snapped back, standing up. The baby in his arms began crying, which ceased the brewing fight in an instant.

"How do I silence him?"

"Just hand him over!" Hermione sighed, taking the baby from his arms and beginning to bounce him, speaking soothing things into his ear.

Malfoy saw now, when put beside each other, that the hair on the boy was the same hair she had.

"Damn."

Hermione glanced at him, confused. "What now, Malfoy?"

"What are we going to do about him?"

"I- I don't know."

"I don't want him. You?"

"No, I don't think-" She caught herself, taking a long and good look at the child. "How could we have been so stupid?"

"We? It was most probably you-"

"You're such a bad influence, that's why-"

"Are you calling me a bad influence?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well that sure didn't stop you from fucking me last night, now did it?"

Hermione felt her face flush, and angrily glared at him. "How dare you even-" Yet again, she caught herself. "It takes _two_, if I'm not mistaken."

"I was drunk."

"So was I!" Snapped Hermione. All the yelling, however, caused her head to spin, and she sat down onto the bed.

He stood in front of her, smirking. "Hungover much?"

She replied with the nastiest glare she could muster. "No, thank you very much."

"Will you take him?"

"Well..."

"Because I sure don't want him."

"Do you think we should go see some officials about this?"

"No, definitely not."

"Why not?"

"It'll ruin my image."

"Oh, having a child with a muggleborn?"

"No, not that. Abandoning a child."

"You can't abandon your son?"

"I'm quite convinced that I can. Do you want him?"

"No."

"Listen, Granger, I know you're all in for this goodwill and shit, but I can take care of this. It'll be like this never happened."

"Malfoy, abandoning children is illegal."

"Can't we set him up for adoption?"

"The laws are stricter in the wizarding world. You ought to know this better than I."

"What?"

"There aren't as many of us. Basically, if you get a child, you keep the child. Because magical children must be with magical parents, if possible."

"What are we supposed to do? Get married and raise him?"

"You could take him."

"Why not you?"

"Your life, if you haven't seen the papers yet, is at least stable." Hermione snapped.

"What do you mean stable? You've got an apartment and a fiancée?"

She winced and looked away.

"What?" Malfoy asked. "Did I say something?"

"Not anymore." She whispered.

"What do you mean?"

Hermione tossed him the Prophet, which he caught with ease. He glanced at the headlines and realised what she was talking about.

"Oh."

"So much for that, hm?" She sighed, staring out of the window.

"I can't take him, I don't know a thing about babies and-"

"Well I can't take him either, and we cannot give him away." Hermione pointed out. "I'd take him, had I an apartment and a stable life, but-"

"You can come stay with me."

"Excuse me?"

"The Manor is big. You could live there until you find a house."

"You're suggesting I come live...with you?" She asked, astonished. "Are you drunk?"

"Or any of my numerous flats. Your pick." He stammered, as though trying to make it seem he didn't care the slightest bit. Which, of course, he didn't. "I can also buy you an apartment-"

"That is out of the question. I will not have it that you'll provide for me."

"I was just trying to be polite-"

"I'll stay at one of your flats until I find better arrangements." Hermione finally answered. "But I'll need some baby supplies."

"Oh, Pansy's already taken care of that."

"Pansy? As in Parkinson?"

"Zabini." Draco told her. "I have a flat just nearby."

"Um...where exactly?"

"Just come with me. Do you have anything with you?"

Hermione shook her head. When she stood up, she found she was trembling, evidently from the shock she'd just encountered.

"No." She said quietly. Truth be told, most her things were still at their flat. Well, it was Ron's flat now. She had just a tiny bag in which had been the clothes she was now wearing, along with her toothbrush. Nothing else.

She paid her check and left the hotel. Malfoy held the baby, who was very much awake and trying to grab at his hair.

"You'd make a great father." She said sarcastically.

He paused and seemed to only now notice she was there. "You'd make a better mother for him."

They walked through the streets in silence. True to his word, Malfoy's flat wasn't very far from the hotel. It was also fairly large.

"You can have the guest bedroom. I'll have baby things sent here."

"This place is what you'd call a flat?"

The living room was the size of Ron's flat, except furnished in much more style. There was a fireplace, and the kitchen was as modern as it possibly could be. Everything was very orderly and clean, as though nothing had been touched.

Malfoy looked at me slowly. "Yes, it is what I'd call 'a flat'. Of course to you it's a palace, for a mug-"

"Don't you dare or I _will_ hex you." Hermione snapped angrily, pulling out her wand. "Just because we potentially have a child doesn't mean I'm going to start liking you. Pompous git."

"Beaver."

"Spoiled brat."

"Know-it-all."

"Idiotic basta-"

Just then, the baby began wailing again, and it took some time until they'd managed to calm him down. The child fell asleep, and Hermione dared not to move an inch in fear of waking him.

"I'll go fetch the things." Malfoy grumbled, apparating without so much as a word. Hermione was left to wait, a sleeping baby in her arms and a million questions on her mind.

"What kind of a mother doesn't know her child?" She whispered, laying a first proper look at her (well, by most chances) son.

Even though she didn't pay much notion, she felt something as she looked at the sleeping child. He looked so adorable, and was so very tiny. His little nose was so adorable, and his teeny tiny little fingers were the cutest things she had ever seen in her life.

She didn't even notice the time passing until Malfoy suddenly reappeared. With a glance, she noticed him levitating some things down the hall, and followed him.

* * *

okay, so first of all i might note that you are free to correct me if i get any of this baby-care stuff wrong. don't have a baby myself, so...

also, what'd you think? leave your comments below, please :)


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